(Friday Night Lights, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time)
Christopher stepped on to the train. It was a fancy train with deep blue and yellow checkered seats. The floor was a charcoal colored linoleum that was the same color as Mrs. Shears’s curtains. There were 11 people in the train carriage to London. The only empty seat was next to a big black guy with one leg bandaged up and a crutch by his side. On his other foot was a black Nike shoe with a white swoosh on both sides. Christopher didn't want to sit next to a stranger, but it was the only seat left. He hoped that the black guy wouldn’t touch him because he hated to be touched by strangers. If he touched him, Christopher would scream. Christopher had never seen a black guy before, so he checked him out, up and down, taking in his appearance as he sat down beside him.
“Dude, you’re staring at the best running back in the history of Permian High School,” said Boobie. “ I’m Boobie Miles.”
Christopher looked at Boobie and asked, “ Why do you run backwards? Is that for a special type of race?”
“Don’t you watch football man?” asked Boobie shaking his head. “ Is it an English thing? Who the heck runs backwards?”
Christopher looked at Boobie’s leg that was all bandaged up. “I can’t imagine anyone being the best at running with a bad leg What happened to you? He asked.
“ I got tackled bad. They smashed my knee.”
“I don’t like smashed up bananas. They’re yellow. I don't like yellow.” Christopher did a search through his memory and remembered seeing a smashed up car. It was red. “ I saw 4 yellow cars which made it a Black day, even though I saw a red car. But it was smashed,” he said
Boobie looked at Christopher and shook his head. “You’re a strange kid,” he said. “How old are you ? Fifteen?” guessed Boobie. “My fans are about your age.”
“My age is 15 years and 3 months and 5 days,” answered Christopher.
“Whatever, “ replied Boobie.
“What’s the number on your jersey?” Asked Christopher.
“My jersey number is 35.”Said Boobie proudly.
“I don’t like the number 35. It’s a cardinal number. I only like prime numbers. 35 is not a prime number.”
“What are you taking about? 35 is the best number ever! 35 will go down in history as being the best number in history!”
Christopher couldn't understand how a number could go down in history. He didn't understand what that meant. He didn’t say anything .“ I don’t like the number 35. 37 is better. Change it to 37.”
“I don’t know if they’ll let me. I came to London to see this really good doctor famous for arthroscopic surgery because we don't have any good doctors in Odessa,“ sighed Boobie. “I’ve got to get my knee fixed up, so I can play again.”
“ Arthroscopic surgery is a minimally invasive surgical procedure in which an examination and sometimes treatment of damage of the interior of a joint is performed using an arthroscope, a type of endoscope that is inserted into the joint through a small incision. Arthroscopic procedures can be performed either to evaluate or treat many orthopedic conditions including torn floating cartilage, torn surface cartilage, ACL reconstruction and trimming damaged cartilage.” Added Christopher.
“How do you know that man? Are you a walking encyclopedia or something?” asked Boobie.
“ I read it on Wikipedia. I have a photographic memory,” said Christopher. “Good luck with your surgery.”
“Thanks kid. Hey, this is my stop. Got to go,” said Boobie. “Take it easy man. Nice talking to you.” Boobie limped off the train.
Christopher looked out the window and saw the sign for Kilburn Park. It was 5:00. He didn’t know what the black football player, Boobie Miles said he was supposed to take easy.
The story was very humorous. Boobie’s and Christopher’s dialogue was quite amusing. Throughout the story I pictured the big black running back talking to a little British kid on a slightly tacky English train. Without any prior knowledge of either book, the story made Christopher seem high strung, and perhaps possessive of a mental abnormality of some sort.
ReplyDeleteI think the train was best described in the story. “It was a fancy train with deep blue and yellow checkered seats. The floor was a charcoal colored linoleum that was the same color as Mrs. Shears’s curtains.” This quote exemplifies a moment of intense description. It allows the reader to create a clear image in their head of a fancy, checkered passenger train.
The conversation seemed very authentic and natural. It seemed like a plausible conversation for two complete strangers to have on a train. Not too revealing, just simple small talk. The use of slang terms and casual language heightened the realistic feel.
The last line, although understandable when read is somewhat problematic. “He didn’t know what the black football player, Boobie Miles said he was supposed to take easy.” When “black football player” and “Boobie Miles” are used in succession it is a bit redundant. Also, “He didn’t know what the black football player…said he was supposed to take easy,” is a bit confusing to read. Perhaps, “He didn’t know what Boobie Miles wanted him to take easy” would make more sense.
I liked this story it made me think that the british kid Christopher has no idea what football is. I know and understand football and what he says about bobbie and what he thinks of his number 35 is very funny. An image that i see is that two boys sitting on a train both staring at each other talking and Bobbie is in amazement and Chris not knowing anything. From only reading Friday Night Lights it sounds like the other boy Chris may have troubles in life.
ReplyDeleteFrom this story the best setting described was the train, with the descriptive words said made me feel like i was in the train watching them talk to each other. " It was a fancy train with deep blue and yellow checkered seats. The floor was a charcoal colored linoleum that was the same color as Mrs. Shears’s curtains. There were 11 people in the train carriage to London. The only empty seat was next to a big black guy with one leg bandaged up and a crutch by his side. " Why I think was very well described was that it makes you visualize in your mind the train.
The conversation between the two of them seem very authentic. Why this seems like this is because when you are in a different country i think people will ask question about you and what you do if you are all bandaged up.
I don't think there was any problems with the story, it showed that he read the book and that he understood the challenges that each character faced.
I - My personal reaction to your story was that it was very funny and at the same time i got a feel for the personalities for each character. I haven't read either of the two books that you wrote your essay on, however, i can understand how the protagonists acted in each by reading your story. One thing i liked was the humorous dialogue between the the characters of Boobie and Christopher. I thought that it was very creative and made me want to read it until the very end. An image i saw in my head was how the two boys looked, sitting in a train across from each other and being amused by one another.
ReplyDeleteII. The aspect of the setting that was best described was the train and there were many descriptions that made it much easier to really imagine it in my head. In the beginning paragraph was where it was easy to tell what the train looked liked on the inside, "It was a fancy train with deep blue and yellow checkered seats. The floor was a charcoal colored linoleum that was the same color as Mrs. Shears’s curtains. There were 11 people in the train carriage to London." Even though the entire story took place on a train, it was easy to visualize a picture of it in my head.
III - The conversation between the two characters felt as though it was authentic yet silly at the same time. I was into the story from the moment it began and the whole essay was about the two characters of Boobie and Christopher talking but it made it more interesting that way because everything each character said was in their own way of talking. The use of slang made it more realistic and it felt real for the two characters to have a conversation the way they did.
IV - Something that I think you could work on to make your writing become more effective is to give a little more detail about each character. I think that if I did not read either Friday Night Lights or The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, i would not fully understand the background of the two protagonists in the essay, However, that is the only thing needed to be worked on in this story.